Questions

Just some of the hundreds of questions that have been floating around my brain the past few weeks.  They're not all for the same people, so have fun trying to figure that one out. Additionally, remember the warning from the last post?  If not, it's conveniently located at the top of the page to remind you :) I do not need, nor want, your negativity in my life. 

-How could you have made up such a lie about me?  And then told me you missed me?  Why haven't I addressed this with you, I'm sure you're asking?  Because I no longer care about your opinions, your deceit, and your manipulation. 

-How could you have not even come to me to discuss what I supposedly said?  I think this is the one that haunts me the most.  That my side of the story wasn't even important until a week and a half after everything happened. 

-What was I supposed to do?  You broke my heart.  How was I supposed to jump back into your arms and go back to normal?  Of course I was guarded.  I was hurt, and I couldn't trust you completely.  What fool would just jump head first back into something or someone who said "I don't love you anymore" just weeks before. 

-When was I finally going to be enough for you?  That's my biggest question.  My socks weren't enough, my hair wasn't enough, my fleece jacket wasn't enough, I was too emotional, and then, I wasn't emotional enough.  But at least I was doing something to change the things I don't like about myself.   And you may think it's a great thing to not have many friends because you're so honest.  Yet, you clearly crave companionship and a partner.  But YOU are not ever going to find that until you realize that YOU have to change.  You can't have a list of things to change about the person you're with.  You have to love them for who and how they are, and encourage their own efforts to improve themselves.  But you'll never understand that.  There were things I'd change about you, if someone gave me the magic wand, but I fell in love with you for you.  Not with some mirage of what I wanted you to be, or the person I "thought you could be." You were enough just the way you were when I fell for you.  Of course I wanted you to constantly continue to improve and challenge yourself, but that should come from within, not from some external source.  And I think that's where we differed.  I didn't have a mold I was trying to form you to.