I'd be lying if I told you that the past 11 days haven't been a whirlwind of activity. I've gone to Minnesota for an AMAZING concert, went to Texas for my birthday with one of my best friends, and caught up with several other friends through Skype or phone conversations. Oh, and saw that guy of mine a time or 2 when life allowed it. On top of all that, I'm somehow about 7 boxes away from being completely moved and ready to start my Kansas City adventure!
I have no motivation to blog, whatsoever. So this is where I'll awkwardly end my post, like I usually do :)
Friday, June 27, 2014
Monday, June 16, 2014
In an interesting twist of fate,
I'm dating my ex's best friend. Because my life just isn't interesting enough, apparently. Like, this was the only guy whose approval I needed to gain. As in, he spent more time with him than I did. Also, I was the one who told him we broke up. Yeah....that's interesting.
Background:
Calypso and I started talking end of last summer. Towards the fall, Calypso and Mo developed this theory that because I got along with Calypso, and Calypso and Mo got along, that any of my friends and Mo would get along. So, one of my friends and Mo went on a double date with Calypso and I. I'd get screenshots of Mo and my friend's conversations and was always amazed at how sweet Mo was when he was such good friends with Calypso (who told me I was pretty/beautiful twice during our entire time talking/dating). They hit it off, but eventually ran into some issues that were deal breakers and so it ended. I was still with Calypso through all this and was seeing Mo pretty regularly.
Mo and I would always talk and hang out while Calypso would be tinkering, getting ready, or who knows what else. Mo and I have a lot in common; from career interests, to hobbies, to life philosophies, so it was nice having someone like minded. But, he was always my boyfriend's best friend, and I was glad I got along with him so well.
And then Calypso and I broke up. And I ended up breaking the news to Mo a week and a half afterwards. Yeah, when I break up with a guy, my first instinct is NOT to text his BFF and tell him. Anyway, Mo told me that "after careful consideration, he wanted to remain friends because he enjoyed hanging out with me" or whatever. I figured it was just him being cordial in case we ever ran into each other, filed it in the back of my brain, and continued on with my life. Until the randomest things would start reminding me of Mo. We "had a song" that we both weren't ashamed to gush over, and other things. So the middle of May, I texted him that I missed his face, throwing in "friend" and trying to make it very platonic. Dinner plans were made, for what I thought would be dinner between friends.
Well, it wasn't. It wasn't quite a date because we each paid for own meals, but in every other context, it was. We've talked every day since. We went on a few dates, and he was always SO respectful and we had a lot of fun together. We've made sacrifices to see each other while I've been back in between trips, and made plans in advance for birthdays and such. We never had an actual conversation about "what we were" and if you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know how ok with that I am. I was ok with "being sorta single" and being non-committal. It meant I was safe, and protected and wouldn't get hurt. Keep this in mind for later on.
This past Friday, we went to a nice dinner, and an outdoor theater. This required spending about an hour and a half in the car together, just one way. And everything just felt...right. We didn't talk the entire way, but the silence was comfortable. It just felt normal; sitting next to him, holding his hand, driving together. Pillow talk, cuddling, and slowly waking up next to him, all felt normal. He talked me through a minor freak out of me letting my guard down and was so incredibly understanding when I couldn't explain myself. Meeting his grandparents, seeing his hometown, and hanging out with his friends. It all felt normal.
Remember how I said I was ok with "being sorta single"? All of a sudden, I wasn't. I didn't want to be on that in between "I think we're together but we've never actually talked about it" or being introduced as "his friend" because he didn't want to rush things along. I wanted him to be mine and there to be NO questions about it. This. Is. Huge. So, I asked him "What is going on with us?" and we talked about it. He was so understanding and didn't want to push me into anything. He sounded relieved that we established exclusivity. He was open and honest, to the point that he told me he was going to screw up, and he was going to hurt me, but that it would never be intentional. A guy who admits he's not perfect? Yes. Please.
Yes, I still struggle with the B word. But, he's mine, and I'm his. He's ok with the G word, and I'm excited about being it. But the expectations and the labels just freak me out still. We spent more time together this weekend than we did apart and we both still didn't want the weekend to end. I know, I know, it's the beginning of a relationship, and you're all excited about it. But, this isn't really the beginning. We're about 3 weeks in, if I'm being completely honest about my feelings. And I'm happy. I was talking to one of my friends about him, and the way I described was that Mo is "the guy I've always deserved but was afraid I'd never get". I'm so incredibly optimistic for this one. I really hope he sticks around a while.
Also, I think his blog nickname is damn adorable :)
As for "taking a chance" guy: I took a chance, had fun while visiting him, but my feelings were back in Missouri the entire time. As I've told people, I had a great visit with a friend and am glad I went.
Background:
Calypso and I started talking end of last summer. Towards the fall, Calypso and Mo developed this theory that because I got along with Calypso, and Calypso and Mo got along, that any of my friends and Mo would get along. So, one of my friends and Mo went on a double date with Calypso and I. I'd get screenshots of Mo and my friend's conversations and was always amazed at how sweet Mo was when he was such good friends with Calypso (who told me I was pretty/beautiful twice during our entire time talking/dating). They hit it off, but eventually ran into some issues that were deal breakers and so it ended. I was still with Calypso through all this and was seeing Mo pretty regularly.
Mo and I would always talk and hang out while Calypso would be tinkering, getting ready, or who knows what else. Mo and I have a lot in common; from career interests, to hobbies, to life philosophies, so it was nice having someone like minded. But, he was always my boyfriend's best friend, and I was glad I got along with him so well.
And then Calypso and I broke up. And I ended up breaking the news to Mo a week and a half afterwards. Yeah, when I break up with a guy, my first instinct is NOT to text his BFF and tell him. Anyway, Mo told me that "after careful consideration, he wanted to remain friends because he enjoyed hanging out with me" or whatever. I figured it was just him being cordial in case we ever ran into each other, filed it in the back of my brain, and continued on with my life. Until the randomest things would start reminding me of Mo. We "had a song" that we both weren't ashamed to gush over, and other things. So the middle of May, I texted him that I missed his face, throwing in "friend" and trying to make it very platonic. Dinner plans were made, for what I thought would be dinner between friends.
Well, it wasn't. It wasn't quite a date because we each paid for own meals, but in every other context, it was. We've talked every day since. We went on a few dates, and he was always SO respectful and we had a lot of fun together. We've made sacrifices to see each other while I've been back in between trips, and made plans in advance for birthdays and such. We never had an actual conversation about "what we were" and if you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know how ok with that I am. I was ok with "being sorta single" and being non-committal. It meant I was safe, and protected and wouldn't get hurt. Keep this in mind for later on.
This past Friday, we went to a nice dinner, and an outdoor theater. This required spending about an hour and a half in the car together, just one way. And everything just felt...right. We didn't talk the entire way, but the silence was comfortable. It just felt normal; sitting next to him, holding his hand, driving together. Pillow talk, cuddling, and slowly waking up next to him, all felt normal. He talked me through a minor freak out of me letting my guard down and was so incredibly understanding when I couldn't explain myself. Meeting his grandparents, seeing his hometown, and hanging out with his friends. It all felt normal.
Remember how I said I was ok with "being sorta single"? All of a sudden, I wasn't. I didn't want to be on that in between "I think we're together but we've never actually talked about it" or being introduced as "his friend" because he didn't want to rush things along. I wanted him to be mine and there to be NO questions about it. This. Is. Huge. So, I asked him "What is going on with us?" and we talked about it. He was so understanding and didn't want to push me into anything. He sounded relieved that we established exclusivity. He was open and honest, to the point that he told me he was going to screw up, and he was going to hurt me, but that it would never be intentional. A guy who admits he's not perfect? Yes. Please.
Yes, I still struggle with the B word. But, he's mine, and I'm his. He's ok with the G word, and I'm excited about being it. But the expectations and the labels just freak me out still. We spent more time together this weekend than we did apart and we both still didn't want the weekend to end. I know, I know, it's the beginning of a relationship, and you're all excited about it. But, this isn't really the beginning. We're about 3 weeks in, if I'm being completely honest about my feelings. And I'm happy. I was talking to one of my friends about him, and the way I described was that Mo is "the guy I've always deserved but was afraid I'd never get". I'm so incredibly optimistic for this one. I really hope he sticks around a while.
Also, I think his blog nickname is damn adorable :)
As for "taking a chance" guy: I took a chance, had fun while visiting him, but my feelings were back in Missouri the entire time. As I've told people, I had a great visit with a friend and am glad I went.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
In Summation
This blog post sums up EVERYTHING I think of dating. Except that she says "yolo" twice in her post. (ugh)
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
True life
Uh. One of my blogs has 21 views. Twenty. One. Either people have been coming back to read and re-read it, sharing links, or randos are reading my blog.
Yes, I realize that all of those can happen. But 21? Yeah, I know, that's not a HUGE amount considering how many people use the internet, but I have one follower through Blogger and one follower through Bloglovin. So that makes 2. I have 2 other people that I know regularly read my blog and then sometimes I go back and look at specific posts. That adds up to 5. There are 4 times as many views on this blog post alone.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty freaking proud of the writing I've been doing on this blog, and that post in and of itself. But for tens of people to see it? Oy.
No, I'm not going to make my blog private or anything like that. I'm just, I guess I'm feeling a bit vulnerable. And we all know how much I like that feeling....not.
Yes, I realize that all of those can happen. But 21? Yeah, I know, that's not a HUGE amount considering how many people use the internet, but I have one follower through Blogger and one follower through Bloglovin. So that makes 2. I have 2 other people that I know regularly read my blog and then sometimes I go back and look at specific posts. That adds up to 5. There are 4 times as many views on this blog post alone.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty freaking proud of the writing I've been doing on this blog, and that post in and of itself. But for tens of people to see it? Oy.
No, I'm not going to make my blog private or anything like that. I'm just, I guess I'm feeling a bit vulnerable. And we all know how much I like that feeling....not.
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