I enjoy being alone. I spend ALL day with people. The ONLY time I get alone is the bathroom. The last thing I want to do every night is go spend time with more people. I like coming home, changing into sweats, and making myself dinner. I like getting to read, facebook, Netflix, organize, or do as I see fit.
No, I don't have tons of friends here. There're several reasons for that.
1. I work with some of the greatest people in the world, and I see them ALL day.
2. Making friends is hard. I feel so stupid saying that, but it really is. Everyone already has their group, why would they want to add one more person?
3. I'm hardly ever here. How can you make friends when you're never there to meet people or hang out with them?
4. My best friend lives thousands of miles away. Somehow, we've managed to maintain a friendship when we've only lived in the same state for about 4 months of our 7+ year friendship. I know I'll never find a friendship like that. Ever.
I'm not apologizing for being a homebody. It saves money. It gives me much needed alone time. It makes my heart and brain happy.
Do I wish I had plans once or twice a week? Absolutely. Do I think that'll change when I actually have weekends off? You bet it will. I can't wait to fall in love with KC even more than I already am.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
You Were Too Drunk...
You were too drunk to watch the color drain from one of your most loyal friends' faces as he heard the news that you were in a car accident. But I was there.
You were too drunk to watch him cut short his vacation with his family to come see you. But I was there.
You were too drunk (at this point on pain meds) to watch him sit at your bed side with tubes coming from EVERY end of you and watch him fight back tears and fears. But I was there.
You were too drunk to realize that all that stuff you went through just months prior, you were tempting fate again. But I'm glad I wasn't there.
And I'm glad that I haven't been there since. Seeing you in that hospital bed, and what that did to the man I love, was heart wrenching. And seeing you continue to make the same stupid, immature mistakes is more than I can handle.
It's not a joke. It isn't funny. This is your LIFE. Although you may not value it, there are so many people that do. People who will continue to be by your side. Not just some bar buddies who don't care about you getting home safe, but people who have proven to be there. People who drive hours to be there. And you are doing everything but spitting in their face. But they're still there.
I don't know what I'm trying to tell you exactly. I think the simplest way is:
please stop being a fucking idiot.
You were too drunk to watch him cut short his vacation with his family to come see you. But I was there.
You were too drunk (at this point on pain meds) to watch him sit at your bed side with tubes coming from EVERY end of you and watch him fight back tears and fears. But I was there.
You were too drunk to realize that all that stuff you went through just months prior, you were tempting fate again. But I'm glad I wasn't there.
And I'm glad that I haven't been there since. Seeing you in that hospital bed, and what that did to the man I love, was heart wrenching. And seeing you continue to make the same stupid, immature mistakes is more than I can handle.
It's not a joke. It isn't funny. This is your LIFE. Although you may not value it, there are so many people that do. People who will continue to be by your side. Not just some bar buddies who don't care about you getting home safe, but people who have proven to be there. People who drive hours to be there. And you are doing everything but spitting in their face. But they're still there.
I don't know what I'm trying to tell you exactly. I think the simplest way is:
please stop being a fucking idiot.
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