Missing you....

"I hate missing you but love having you to miss"


You know that feeling you have after you've spent time with a loved one? That feeling of dread about leaving in the morning?  I feel like that's all I've felt the past few weeks.


I've been thinking a lot about balance lately.  There's an imbalance in Mo and I's relationship.  It isn't necessarily a bad thing but it also isn't a good thing.  The worst part about it is that it isn't going to change any time soon. I'm hopeful that it'll (temporarily) get figured out this summer when I have more time, but I know that it's only a Band-Aid for the situation.


The imbalance in our relationship is time and how it's spent when we're together.  Some could say that most weekends, I'm in a relationship with a person, but during the week, I'm in a relationship with my phone. I know I've talked about this before regarding other distance relationships and how phone dependent I am.


For some reason, it's more annoying with Mo, though. It's hard because when we're together, we want to spend as much time together as possible, almost to the point of smothering each other.  I want as many snuggles, kisses, and hand holds as I can get because in the middle of the week, I can't get any of that, no matter how badly I want it.  And then we're back to smothering each other on the weekends.  It's cyclical and it's frustrating.  And like I said, there's nothing I can do to fix it.


I don't want to intentionally smother ourselves but I just get to so excited to actually see him and be with him, that I can't help but want to fill up my bucket.  I wish there was a way to get a balance of seeing each other regularly but not smothering each other. 


Then throwing in weekends where we don't see each other for a variety of reasons, and it gets exceptionally hard.  Luckily, when we do go several weeks without seeing each other, we're willing to meet in the middle of those weeks for a date night just to see each other and talk.  (I'm not good at talking on the phone after about 3 days of it.  I want to see his expression while I tell him stories!  Plus I talk with my hands and it just isn't the same!!)


Basically, this is just a big, whiny post about another unglamorous aspect of being in a distance relationship. Hmph.