Guilty

I have a confession to make.  Sometimes, I don't like people.  I know everyone feels that way about strangers who irritate them.  But I'm talking about my loved ones-family, boyfriend, roommate, friends, students, co-workers. Yeah, sometimes I don't like them.  Don't confuse like and love, though.  I always love all those people.  But I don't always like them.

I've always been a social butterfly.  I've thrived in social situations.  Put me in a room of people I didn't know and I'd walk out with many new friends.  And then I lived alone.  I learned how to be alone, and not be lonely.  I learned to actually like it.

Now that I have a roommate, and a boyfriend, and a much bigger group of co-workers, I crave that alone time.  Yeah, I usually get it 1-2 nights a week, but after being around family all weekend, and then getting to spend time with my roommate a decent amount this week for various things, I'm feeling overwhelemed and socially exhausted.  I just want some alone time and peace and quiet.

And then I feel guilty because I don't want to talk to people.  And then I feel bad because I'm cranky because people won't leave me alone.  I know I need to take care of myself, but I don't want to disappoint those people either.