The Summer of Courage

That sounds like the title of a novel or something.  But maybe that's just me.  Anyway, during my reflection of this summer over the past week or so (I've worked a LOT of hours!!!), I'd have to say these past few months have been all about courage...

the courage to buy a plane ticket simply to explore a possibility...
the courage to pick up my life and move it...
the courage to say "I need help"...
the courage to open up and trust someone...
the courage to go for what I want, in almost every aspect of my life...

I find it really interesting to compare the amount of joy I've experienced this summer in relation to the number of things I've done because I wanted to do them.  Even with people trying to talk me out of them (there's been several situations people have tried to talk me out of).  No, not every situation went exactly how I'd expected it to, but I did it.  And to me, that's all that matters.


 I accepted a job that's completely different (but what I've always dreamed of), even though my co-workers tried to talk me out of it.  I found an AMAZING place to live in downtown KC, even though people said it'd be unsafe.  I went out to California, even though people said lots of horrible things.  I went after what I wanted with Mo, even though people said we were "breaking bro code". I've submitted my letter of resignation for dispatching, even though my officers want me to stay.


No, this summer hasn't been perfect.  My Grammee's death, missed flights, homesickness, moving stress, and several other happenings have provided reminders that things don't always go according to plan.  But even while in Pennsylvania to bury Grammee, I couldn't help but feel happy with my life overall.


I went to California (crossed a thing off my bucket list: seeing the Golden Gate Bridge)

I went to Minnesota (saw OneRepublic and bonded with my brothers)

I went to Texas (got to see one of my best friends, spent my birthday on the beach, experienced my first rodeo, discovered "dressed beers", got in trouble at SPI within 2 hours)

I went to Iowa (bonded with my mom and one of my closest high school friends)

I went to Pennsylvania (road tripped with some of my family, saw the rest, and celebrated my Grammee)

The crazy thing about Pennsylvania is that the whole time I was there, I wasn't horribly upset.  Maybe it was because Grammee had been sick for a very long time and she was finally at peace and reunited with my dad.  Maybe it was because I was surrounded by family.  Maybe because I'd gotten all my sadness out after my mom called me that Monday morning to tell me.  Maybe it was because there was so much to be happy about in my life, and I know that's what Grammee wanted for me.  Don't get me wrong, I was still sad but I wasn't as emotionally upset as I expected to be. 

Mo has a "fix it" personality.  He always wants to make things better.  While he was trying to find a way to make everything better for me (which is impossible during the time surrounding a funeral), he was making things easier, just by being himself.  I tried to articulate that to him, but I know I failed miserably.  I just can't explain how, but knowing that he was there, albeit, a thousand miles away, but just a phone call or text away, made things easier.  Knowing he'd be there with a hug when I finally got home, made things more bearable.  As stupid and cliché as it is, he was something sturdy to prop myself up against when things got to be too much.

All in all, I went to 10 different states in about a month.  (By the end of this year, I'll be somewhere up near 15!!) Through it all, Mo was steady; always there with a sweet statement, SUPER lame pun, or an attempt to make things better.  I can't imagine what it was like watching this ridiculously amazing girl (if I do say so myself) you just got into a relationship with, pack up and travel all over the country, come home for a few nights, squeeze dinner and a few work shifts in before heading out again.  But he did it, and I couldn't be happier that he did!

And what better way to end a fairly lengthy post than with an "awwww" Mo story :)


As soon as I got off the phone with my mom that Monday morning, I texted my roommate to tell her I needed her and then called Mo.  As soon as I told him, he said all those typical things you expect to hear.  And then he asked me if I wanted him to come up that night after he got off work.   I tried to tell him, no, I'd be ok.  I was gonna hang with Kirstie and I'd be alright.  Except, I didn't really have a choice in the matter.  I'm pretty sure he'd already made up his mind before he even asked.  He just wanted me to think I had some say in the matter.  I have a guy who will drive 3 hours round trip, to spend 2 and a half hours with me, knowing that I'd be emotional and not fun at all.  Yet, he still did it.  Altogether now: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW